For everything else, there's Bernanke Card!

Do you have problem assets on your balance sheet? Discovered that the only collateral in your "Collateralized Debt Obligations" is in the title? Are your calls to your friendly bankers not being returned (or their telephone line disconnected)?

Well fear not my friends, for liquidity is available quickly and easily with Bernanke Card (tm). Yes, your friendly Federal Reserve will take those troublesome assets, no questions asked. Your liquidity problems will be over before you can say "bailout" - it's like subprime loans without the stringent lending criteria.

So what is the Fed buying from those desperate...sorry, decisive sellers? Well, it's a Christmas surprise that Ben and his chief elf Hank are working on. In fact, to keep it a secret, they are saying nothing. Bloomberg has been forced to sue the Fed to try and get that data released under the Freedom of Information Act.

However I can promise it'll be one hell of a surprise!